Understood
by dancingbunnies
Summary: Throughout Esme's life, she's basically ignorant towards many things. But Carlisle helps her understand.
1. Beauty and Life (1)

_Beauty and Life_

From the day we first met, as I cringed at the excruciating pain that was coming from my leg as his brows furrowed and lips pursed, full out concentration on treating my wound. It took me about every willpower in my body to restrict my hands to myself, but every particle present in me longed to reach out to touched his beautifully carved face.

How could anyone be so beautiful?

I studied him carefully, his golden blond hair set perfectly in place, his pale complexion and the way his brows knitted together. It all seemed perfect. He was perfect.

"It should be fine now," he murmured, voice like silk, melting my heart. "Just get lots of rest and you should be fine."

I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat as he gazed up at me, eyes meeting mine and no words seemed to be able to leave my mouth.

"Miss?" He lifted an eyebrow, staring at me with amused confusion.

"S-sorry," I stuttered slightly, mentally wanting to jump off a cliff, "Thanks, doctor..?"

"Carlisle. Carlisle Cullen," His lips pulled up at a corner to a side smirk.

I wonder what his lips taste like?

I had no appropriate response but to just look down, praying for a miracle distraction to appear.

"Don't move about too much, the stitches may tear," he reminded, and made to left the room with what I thought was a slight chuckle.

I let out a sigh, peering through my eyelashes to see that he had already left the room.

It wasn't difficult to remember what he looked like, because I think I had already memorized his face from the hours I had spent looking at him.

From then, I understood beauty.

* * *

Years after, Dr. Carlisle Cullen all but seemed like a faded memory, a fantasy, but his face, his perfect face, still haunted me every night before I slept. It seemed surreal, and time after time he would enter my dreams, and I would run my fingers through his hair, lips inches apart only to be awaken moments before our lips touch by the sound of an alarm clock.

It's not meant to be, I shrugged off most of the times, not even in my dreams.

It was all so frightening, how one man I met only briefly, could affect me so much for my entire life, but I had to make do with it. After all, he was wealthy, extremely gorgeous, and entirely out of my league. I could never stand a chance with him.

I had decided not to perish in my thoughts, and went for a mountain climb with my friends.

What a foolish decision. Neither of us had experience, but we were young and wild. No one really understood the importance of life and what it had to offer.

I only regretted everything when I tore through the bursting wind, seconds from death, plummeting through the air and down from where I had slipped.

They say that seconds before death, everyone would get a flashback of their lives?

I did.

Everything I had ever done seemed to replay like a movie on fastforward, then he was there, an image so strongly planted in my head, his eyes filled with fear, as if trying to say, "Esme, what have you done?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, ready for the impact, and silently saying my last goodbyes before I hit the bottom and everything went black.

From then, I understood the importance of life.

* * *

**A/N: No idea what I am doing. Recently watched Breaking Dawn Pt. 2, and I think it's safe to say I have fallen in love with the series all over again. Sometimes I wish I could rediscover the series from a brand new perspective and not with the little puny childish mind I discovered it with years ago! ): But I love CarlisleXEsme so much, they're beautiful, so I decided to write a little something for them in my spare time, didn't really check it through so sorry for any grammar/vocab mistakes! Hope you guys like it, and yes there will be more haha! **

**Constructive criticism excepted, but please don't be too mean D: **

**I will end my going-to-be-very-long author's note here! **

**3**


	2. Sacrifice (2)

_Sacrifice_

I lay, partially unconscious and wasting my life away, on the hospital bed. I could hear the soft murmurs of doctors discussing my situation, but everything seemed dreamlike.

The lighting was a bit too dim, and my vision was blur, and I knew I was going any moment.

My heart ached for my love ones. What would my parents do when they find their daughter had been taken away by death? What would my friends feel when they know that their partly responsible for my fall? What would it take for me to see Carlisle one last time before it all ends?

Tears began to form in my eyes, and I willed my body to move, but all I could manage was a soft groan and nothing else. I knew it was over.

It suddenly became all too quiet. The doctors had left the room.

_No_, I yearned to shout, don't leave me alone in this room to die. _Not alone._

But I then noticed that not all of them had left. Someone still remained, and he or she was slowly progressing towards me.

"Don't .. leave me," I all but managed to softly cry out, not caring who it was that was hovering beside me. I just didn't want to die all alone.

Whoever it was didn't respond, and I silently gave up, shutting my eyes and waiting for death to embrace me.

"Esme?" A voice rang through the empty room, and my eyes shot open. That voice was too familiar.

I glanced to the side, trying to make out who it was, and I was sure I was in heaven when Carlisle's eyes met mine.

The familiar golden orbs that I had spent so long wishing to see again was right in front of me.

"Esme, I'm sorry for what I'm about to do," he gently said, as I tried to read his expressionless face.

"I'm really sorry," his voice was barely audible this time and his face scrunched up in agony, as if he was in pain, and I wanted to scream, _what was going on?_

I was still torn between the fact that I was alive and Carlisle was really beside me, or I was in heaven, but still bedridden with the man I longed for just a grasp away.

Everything happened in a flash.

All of a sudden his lips were on my neck, and teeth tearing through the canvas of my flesh, and then a pain so brutal shot through every cell of my body, but I couldn't scream.

It felt like acid was eating out every organ and bone in my body but all I could do was lay there, begging for death, _anything to stop the pain._

I could hear words of assurance, and apologies, _a lot of apologies._

Minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days. I didn't know how long it was going to last, or how long it has lasted. I only wanted to die.

Then in an instant, my heart felt like it was about to burst right through my chest and I felt alive again, this time, much alive than ever before. It felt amazing, like I could carry a truck down the street, and the feeling was indescribable.

Everything seemed to fall back in place, like broken pieces of glass re-assembling themselves, and he was there.

"I'm sorry," he sat on the floor at a corner, head bent over and hands covering his face.

"What are you sorry for?" I queried, confused and lost.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a glass panel, and all I could manage was a gasp.

_I was beautiful. _

"Esme, I had no choice," he said, "I just couldn't watch you die."

I faced him, still in a state of confusion.

"I don't understand."

"I'm not a normal person, Esme. When we first met, didn't you ever question why I was so.. different, from others?" He stood up, gracefully walking towards me, and taking my hand.

"Yeah.." I nodded, still unsure, though abnormally beautiful was what I had described him to be in my head, not different.

"You're like me now," he whispered, eyes never leaving mine, "I never wanted to do this, but it was the only way to keep you alive. I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. I just don't want to leave you. But by doing so, I have turned you into a monster."

It was only then that I looked at my reflection again, and I was shocked at what truly greeted me. There stood someone who looked like me, staring back at me with exactly the same shocked expression, with blood red eyes.

From then, I understood _sacrifice_.


End file.
